What words come to mind when you think of a kind leader? For some, words like generous and helpful come to mind. These are great, but kindness has even more to offer when we are also proactive, intentional, and—dare I say—”bold” in how we bring it into our learning communities. Bold kindness isn’t about being soft or weak; it’s leading with care, conviction, and strength.

So how do we practice bold kindness with those we serve? Here are five ways we, as leaders, can use bold kindness to nurture relationships, improve well-being, and cultivate a culture of care.

1. Underpromise and Overdeliver to Build Trust and Credibility

We’ve all felt the disappointment of relying on someone who doesn’t follow through. We offer grace, but when this happens often, it damages the relationship. A kinder approach is to set expectations that are very doable while also leaving room to go above and beyond. Here are a couple of examples:

• End Early: Schedule staff meetings for a reasonable amount of time, and then carefully plan the agenda to end 5-10 minutes early. When we give the gift of extra time, we show respect for our peers and their busy schedules. We can even follow up with a very brief email highlighting the important points, offering helpful links, and a fun (and appropriate) joke. Bringing humor in adds a human touch.   
• Follow Up Quickly: When a parent, peer, or learner approaches you with their concern, listen attentively, take notes, and promise to get back to them within three days. Then follow up sooner, ideally within 24 hours, with a simple plan to address the problem. Ask for feedback and ensure they leave the conversation knowing that you care about them and you want to make things better for them.

2. Engineer the Special

As humans, we thrive on consistency, but adding thoughtful novelty brings excitement and keeps things interesting. By regularly creating small, meaningful celebrations, we cultivate a culture of appreciation and joy. For example:

• Pop-Up Break Station: When you notice your team needs a boost, set up a "Pop-Up Break Station" in the staff lounge with coffee, tea, and snacks. Include a sign that says, “You’re doing an amazing job. Take a moment for yourself!” This unexpected gesture gives staff a little boost when they need it most.

3. Invoke the Power of Small Moves with Big Impact

Small, thoughtful gestures can transform school culture and create lasting connections. And when we show genuine appreciation, it sends a powerful message. Here’s an example:

• Sticky Notes of Appreciation: We can carry a pad of sticky notes as we walk through campus, jotting down something we appreciate about a teacher, learner, custodian, office staff, or cafeteria worker, and leave it in a spot where they’ll see it.
  • Tip: Before starting this practice, make sure your team understands sticky notes are non-evaluative and are meant to be positive.

4. Walk in Their Shoes

We all crave to feel seen, heard, known, and valued. Part of that is acknowledging the hard and making sure those we serve know we are in this with them. To really activate the empathy and compassion, consider these options:

• Be a Student for a Day: No matter what role you are in, it’s easy to forget what it was like to go to school for six-ish hours a day. We can remember by spending a day shadowing a learner. This helps us understand their daily routines, the transitions between classes, and their overall experience.
• Cover Duty: Teach and cover duty for your peers. Just like it’s easy to forget the student experience, it’s easy to forget the challenges (and sheer exhaustion) of teaching all day. 

5. Cultivate Connection Rituals

How many times have you been asked, “How are you?”. It’s a common question that usually gets a common response. Typically something like, “Fine” or maybe a sarcastic, “I’m living the dream.” So how do we make time for meaningful social connection? Here are a couple of examples:

• Daily Gratitude: Start each day by sending an email or delivering a note of appreciation to someone in your learning community. A specific and authentic message could be exactly what they need. Plus, you and the recipient get a flood of happiness chemicals in the brain!
• Welcoming Inclusion Activity: Open staff meetings with activities that go beyond traditional icebreakers. Use intentional practices, like pairing up staff to answer Dr. Arthur Aron’s questions, to build a deeper sense of belonging and connection.

Kindness and gratitude hold hands and when we know we are valued, we naturally give our best and more. Leading with bold kindness, we can create lasting positive change within our learning communities.

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